I was just sitting here thinking of how embarrassing it is going to be the week of October 10th when I start my adult hip pop oops I mean Hip Hop class. My daughter promises to watch through the door. I am pretty good at laughing at myself I have been pretty clumsy most of my life and it’s not like I’ve grown into adult hood with Grace. If anything my mind is kinda foggy that doesn’t help with clumsiness. Plus it’s past my bedtime it starts at 9:00pm but, it’s exercise and I am going to try to do Yoga through my Beach Body membership see if that helps my back, neck and head. It’s a start another one.
It got me thinking of some things unfortunate mishaps nothing serious, life threatening or having to go to the hospital or anything like that I have happen to me that are kind of funny. I’m sure these things happen to most especially with kids. I can tell you ones I remember. You know I’m sitting in my living room right now being pissed off at my neighbours who are pretty much all retired across from me and insist on cutting their grass, starting and revving up their old cars at nap time every day anything loud it is so pricking annoying! They have all morning anyway sorry this has nothing to do with what I was talking about but it’s happening and Im getting ticked and want to yell Shut up. Oh good the neighbours kids just drove up in a loud stinky car they never park in their own driveway as it is for goodness sakes. Ok sorry anyway carry on.
unfortunately I don’t remember a lot of things because I’m pretty sure anxiety, depression and migraine meds play with my memory and concentration. Maybe I’ll do bullet form.
- I was at the bank machine one time and I threw my slip of paper in the garbage and if you have them they are just like a slit not very big. I pushed my paper down and my middle knuckle got stuck I was panicky because I was picturing them having to call the fire department to come and cut my hand off. All the while I was still carrying on with my banking and yanking on my finger like it was no biggie. lucky enough I could yank it out with losing only minor skin. My kids find that so funny.
- When my daughter was 2 and potty training she had to go potty at the grocery store. So we went into the bathroom I put her on she went pee fine and as I took her off the potty my purse slipped off my shoulder and landed right in the toilet, earlier I was shopping and she had unzipped my shirt I learned from then on to always wear a tank under, dropped my wallet, forgot to do her up fully in her seat and broke a bag of milk. I stayed home for the rest of the day.
- I bought a sports bra and I know they are supposed to be tight so it was a bit of a stretch to get on and then it was just uncomfortable. I went to take it off and got stuck in it literally like my hands where in the air stuck. Chris was in the shower laughing so hard at me Emma was trying to pull it off as I was trying to wiggle it off. Finally when Chris was done the whole family was in my room pulling on the stupid sports bra it came off although we almost had to cut it off.
- Chris had just built the back deck and was telling me that just be careful of the spaces between the wood posts they are measured so that nothing will get stuck in them but just to be safe. So I stay up on the deck and watch the kids in the yard he goes just next door for a chat. My knee gets stuck between the wood posts. I can’t get it out I pull and wiggle and it hurts now and parents are going to start showing up for their kids soon. So I am trying to get Chris’s attention quietly of course that doesn’t work so I have to yell at him to come over for a second and when he does he yells of course you got stuck right after I said don’t put anything between the posts. Anyway he had to pull the two posts apart as much as he could anyway but, I was able to slip it out with only a couple of bruises. I don’t do that anymore.
- Well just a couple of weeks ago I wore my tights inside out all day had no idea. Went to the groceries store, pharmacy with my daughter didn’t notice until bedtime. didn’t even look down enough whenever I went to the bathroom. I have worn underwear and a bra inside out before but who hasn’t? oh and a T-shirt. Now I get asked a lot if my clothes are inside out I tend to buy clothes that look good either way.
- I also tried to unplug our sink with the handle of a hand-held swiffer and it broke and got really stuck. I was going out and it was really plugged I thought maybe it was hair and it would grab some and help but nope. Well that was just dumb actually.
- This is not that funny as to what happened to me but I laughed because my mom was so funny. I had and ablation and tubal removal done and my mom was staying with me for a bit to help with the kids in the morning. My dad just left and Chris left to get the kids from the bus all was good. I went to the bathroom to pee as I bent my stitches on my upper abdo. popped and because of the pressure and bloating there it was a lot of blood. So I called my mom up who was a nurse a long time ago who asked how bad then started frantically looking for gauze and maxi pads, asking how long Chris will be to take me to the hospital. My mom hates driving in the winter which it was, on the 401 which is a major busy highway fastest way to get to hospital, Does not drive other people’s cars ever mine was the only one in the driveway, Hates driving in the dark it wasn’t really dark but in the winter 4:00 it’s not the brightest. OMG another friggen lawn mower. So Chris was going to be another 15 minutes and by this point I was bleeding down my legs into my boots. So she is like ok get in the car I guess we got to this. She was so funny you coud tell she was freaking out about both things and revving the car on the 401 as I was telling her how to drive it hahha. So we get checked in I get a nurse right away my mom has to sit down she looks white as a piece of paper. The nurse ends up getting her a sandwich and a drink she hadn’t eaten through my whole surgery that day or anything then her adrenaline just crashed. So I didn’t even have a chance to freak out. The only things that weren’t my favorite was the thought of having to go back in for surgery and then having to have staples instead of stitches with no freezing although I think staples were better if there was no time for freezing because stitches would have taken longer and been more painful maybe. Then I had to wait around to make sure all bleeding stopped and didn’t start anywhere else and that I could go to the bathroom and get up ok. My lower abdo was purple for weeks and weeks because of the trauma it was gross.
Anyway that’s all I can remember for now hopefully it makes someone laugh and please feel free to share it’s good to laugh especially at yourself.