So I have been mostly writing regarding my daughters anxiety as it’s been the most troublesome lately but, my son who is 10 also is a sufferer. He has always been attached to me since a baby when I used to even go to get groceries it was an ordeal. He has slept over at grandparents houses maybe a handful of times if that much only if it was absolutely necessary, otherwise we would get a call wanting us to go get him.
School was not his favourite but he did go on regular basis and I worked out of the home when he was young. Daycare was a challenge as he didn’t’t want to go and it was a heart break everyday back then Emma was very social and had no troubles going here and there liked school because it was so social, not because she loved the work.
Around grade 1 he started having trouble there was a bully who picked on everyone. Corbin is very much a rules guy and the rule was you couldn’t fight back so he put up with it for a bit and I spoke to the teacher who didn’t said she watched them a didn’t see anything but, it continued and not just to Corbin this was a kid who was often suspended and in trouble. So I wrote to the teacher and she called up Corbin and the bully at the same time and had a chat of course the bully denied it and started to cry and Corbin wouldn’t say anything I mean would you? So after that he lost trust in his teacher and being comfortable in going to her for anything which I understood. We gave him permission many times to defend himself whenever he needed to but, he couldn’t seem to get over the rules.
Grade 2 he had the most amazing teacher and he went to school with no arguments or fights. He had the courage to stand up to the bully and did with no further worry of him bugging him anymore and stuck up for his friends as well. I was hopeful things were turning around. He has always played Lacrosse and has had a lot of compliments that he plays beyond his years and has the hands, knowledge and feet for the game but, lacking the aggressiveness to get after the ball and play defense well and again that’s where the tricky rules come in he doesn’t want to get a penalty or hurt someone by mistake.
Grade 3 was okay not the same teacher and he wasn’t sure of her the only thing he liked was that she used him for all gym sports demonstrations. Near the end I could hardly get him to go for a full week and it was mentioned to me they had a school counselor, I should call the VP and book and appointment for Corbin to see her before school was over to get him at least seen a couple times and set up for next year. So I called and he saw her 1 was supposed to be more but, I couldn’t get him there. Summer vacation was not to bad he usually does a lacrosse camp and NLL players run it so he likes to go hang out see them and hang out. It was even hard to get him up near the end for that and that was not him at all.
Grade 4 the present and the hardest! It started off pretty good then down to about 4 times a week. After Christmas break he was refereed to a Mental Health Nurse to try and help him. Corbin is extremely stubborn, I could yell, cry, take everything away and he still would not budge from his bed if he didn’t want to go to school. Or he would go out the door and then just push his way back in and I could not convince him to get on the bus. Working from home makes that difficult as well because he knows I’m here. It went from 4 days to 3 days and it was a lot of stomach aches and then he would be totally fine later in the day. So there was a lot of explaining of faking it and getting his PS4 taken away and talking about the importance of school. We had to get his stomach tested and blood work done to rule out physical and then start the mental process. Now I’m lucky on 2 days a week last week he cried every morning when it was time to go to the bus. He had pneumonia for a week then he didn’t go for a week and not again today. So we also have him meeting with another lady that’s going to help him with day to day dealings and how to express things into words. He tends to sit in complete silence so he teachers of course think it’s awesome but missing the signs. He has also started to become paranoid and very worried if there are to many people or someone is walking behind us. Loud noises also.
All this with both kids is stressful and heartbreaking. When you are struggling daily with your own Anxiety, Depression and feeling unwell it’s truly exhausting and I constantly feel lost, guilty and helpless. I know they each have a team of people trying to help them through it all but, at home I try it just can be overwhelming. I know from experience if you let it consume you you lose so very much.